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HERE IS A VERY LONG POST ABOUT HOW BABIES ARE MADE:

So this amazing thing happened: I welcomed a new baby into my family. She’s very cute and her sisters love her and when she screams, she sounds like some kind of very important siren which I think is a good quality in a girl. We are happy, I am happy, I am very EXTREMELY happy. So happy that, after a few weeks of me and my girls being so very extremely happy with this awesome siren-screaming baby, I looked up and realized that I’d been neglecting my twitter feed.

Now, I like to tweet for many reasons. One reason is to say mushy things about shows I love like Breaking Bad or Orphan Black or about stuff I love to buy like Joovy Strollers or iced green tea (and nobody pays me to say this stuff, I just can’t shut up). Sometimes I like to tweet to declare weird stuff (like how much I love/hate my treadmill or how I’ve decided to break bad this week which…okay, side note: Trying to break bad is very hard for me because I like to sit at the front of life’s classroom with my hand raised high in the air saying “call on me, call on me!” I don’t do bad things. I’m a nerdy nerd who does nerdy good things. Like today, to break bad? I guilted my friend Jenna into giving me her last stash of frozen breast milk so I can feed it to my baby. Not exactly making meth, you know?). ANYWAY…

The other thing I do with my tweeting is promote my shows. Stuff like, oh, I don’t know….Grey’s Anatomy starts this THURSDAY, people!!! Or Scandal will blow your mind next week, Gladiators!!!! But see, I wasn’t really doing any tweeting about my shows because I was at home, staring at Tiny Human #3 and listening to her siren screams and being happy. And premiere week was coming and it seemed like people were starting to notice I was gone SO…I decided to tweet about this amazing new baby.

Here’s what I said tweeted:

Been AWOL from Twitter. I totally have a good reason: TINY HUMAN #3 is here and she’s perfect! Babies are good. Life is good. #2shows3kids

Simple. Short. Within the 160 character limit. Also still private. Cause my babies, they are amazing but they did not sign up to be in the public eye. I tweeted it and then I went back to my babies and my happiness and my life.

And then last night when I was finally back online in a real way because I was tweeting about the Emmy’s, I noticed that something weird had happened.

Really weird.

There seemed to be a lot of people out there who think I adopted again. Like, a LOT. Like, there were actually articles in which RHIMES ADOPTS THIRD CHILD was the headline.

But, um…I didn’t. Adopt.

Now, you know how much I love adoption and how serious I am about adoption and how I will fight you like a wild woman if you try to tell me anything bad about adoption because adoption is awesome. Adoption rocks. Adoption made me a mother and built my family and just…broke open my heart in the most amazing ways. Adoption is everything for me. If you are thinking about adopting, I encourage you to DO IT. I encourage you to learn everything you can about it and yourself and then DO IT, DO IT, DO IT. Because you will literally feel your heart get bigger. (Bigger in a non-medical way. If you feel your heart getting bigger in a medical way, step away from the computer and rush to the hospital. Yang is waiting there for you.)

But I didn’t adopt this time. For all kinds of reasons which one day I will write about but since it involves all kinds of hugely personal things including my va-jay-jay, I won’t write about it right now. We don’t know each other well enough yet. Let’s all just keep our va-jay-jays to ourselves for now.

This time, I had my baby via gestational surrogacy. Yes. You heard me. An incredibly awesome woman gave me the incredibly awesome gift of carrying my baby for me. It was equally as incredible as the experience of adoption. Different but still just as special and as wonderful as adoption.

Anyway, I don’t actually think it matters HOW a child comes into your family. Bio, not bio, infant adoption, older child adoption, c-section, surrogacy, egg donor, sperm donor, embryo adoption, whatever…children are amazing. They are a gift. We shouldn’t be worrying about HOW they got here. I don’t worry about it. I just do the best I can to be a really great mother so they won’t write tell-all books about me later.

But I did think I’d better tweet again. To, you know, clear things up. Because it’s super weird to have something out there about one of your kids that’s not true. Because I didn’t want this siren-screaming baby to one day google those articles and somehow assume that I thought something was wrong with saying she was a surrogacy baby.

Because I don’t. Surrogacy is amazing. It totally is. It has to be because Tina Fey and Amy Poehler made a whole movie about it. And Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are really really cool and not at all nerdy like me. Now, it didn’t work out so well for Tina and Amy in the movie but it did for me.

I’m happy. So I will say it again: Tiny Human #3 is here and she is perfect and I am happy. #2shows3kids.

44w