James Gunn James Gunn SEE MORE >
Prayer for a Cat:

Dear Lord,
Today I pray that I leap out onto the dog at the exact right moment, scaring the bejesus out of him
And may I dip my paw in my Dad’s cereal while he’s not looking
Right after stomping around the litter box 
And may I break some of his things
Doesn’t really matter what
May I make a pillow of his computer keyboard while he is trying to write
And may I wail endlessly for absolutely no reason, especially when my Dad has friends over, so it seems like he might be torturing me 
Speaking of his friends, may I look adorable to them, and when their faces get close, may I swat them, hard, because that’s bullshit. Fuck them. I have space issues.
May I just seem creepy as hell a heck of a lot of the time
May I make this post for my Dad on Facebook: kl((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
May I take a shit right beside the litter box
And may I destroy a three thousand dollar Dutch mid-century modern leather chair
Right beside the scratching post
May I pad my paws on my Dad’s legs while he’s wearing thin shorts and, because he feels too guilty to move me aside, make deep, bloody scratches in his thighs
Because he is mine
Amen

Your Humble Servant,
Emily
Prayer for a Cat:

Dear Lord,
Today I pray that I leap out onto the dog at the exact right moment, scaring the bejesus out of him
And may I dip my paw in my Dad’s cereal while he’s not looking
Right after stomping around the litter box
And may I break some of his things
Doesn’t really matter what
May I make a pillow of his computer keyboard while he is trying to write
And may I wail endlessly for absolutely no reason, especially when my Dad has friends over, so it seems like he might be torturing me
Speaking of his friends, may I look adorable to them, and when their faces get close, may I swat them, hard, because that’s bullshit. Fuck them. I have space issues.
May I just seem creepy as hell a heck of a lot of the time
May I make this post for my Dad on Facebook: kl((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
May I take a shit right beside the litter box
And may I destroy a three thousand dollar Dutch mid-century modern leather chair
Right beside the scratching post
May I pad my paws on my Dad’s legs while he’s wearing thin shorts and, because he feels too guilty to move me aside, make deep, bloody scratches in his thighs
Because he is mine
Amen

Your Humble Servant,
Emily
</> Embed 42w
The time I bottle fed a baby meerkat.