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In the two weeks I've had Emily, I've learned a lot about her belief system.  Here are 11 Beliefs of my Foster Kitty:

1. If that dog moves too fast, I will swat him, I don't give a shit.

2. There is no place you can put a cheese plate that I will not get to.

3. $2,500 antique mid-century modernist chairs make much better scratching posts than dumb things Petco makes as scratching posts.

4. Dishwashers opening? Incredibly interesting. Dishwasher racks sliding out? Absolutely terrifying.

5. I will beg for food even when there is some in my bowl, because I like the feeling of you being my servant.

6. Place mats are sleds.

7. I can steal as much lettuce from your salad as I want, even though I don't like the way it tastes. Personally, I think it looks good half chewed-up on the sofa.

8. You don't have to pet me. But I don't have to not scream at you continuously until you do.

9. Cats who only sleep 18 hours a day are pussies who can't handle more.

10. If you dangle a string at me, I'll play with it for a couple moments, but it's all just a set-up so I can stare at you like you're a retard swinging a string around by yourself.

11, Do what I wilt shall be the whole of the law.
In the two weeks I've had Emily, I've learned a lot about her belief system. Here are 11 Beliefs of my Foster Kitty:

1. If that dog moves too fast, I will swat him, I don't give a shit.

2. There is no place you can put a cheese plate that I will not get to.

3. $2,500 antique mid-century modernist chairs make much better scratching posts than dumb things Petco makes as scratching posts.

4. Dishwashers opening? Incredibly interesting. Dishwasher racks sliding out? Absolutely terrifying.

5. I will beg for food even when there is some in my bowl, because I like the feeling of you being my servant.

6. Place mats are sleds.

7. I can steal as much lettuce from your salad as I want, even though I don't like the way it tastes. Personally, I think it looks good half chewed-up on the sofa.

8. You don't have to pet me. But I don't have to not scream at you continuously until you do.

9. Cats who only sleep 18 hours a day are pussies who can't handle more.

10. If you dangle a string at me, I'll play with it for a couple moments, but it's all just a set-up so I can stare at you like you're a retard swinging a string around by yourself.

11, Do what I wilt shall be the whole of the law.
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The time I bottle fed a baby meerkat.