ON WHOSAY SINCE: Oct 19, 2011

The closest I've been to a diet this year is erasing food searches from my browser histor…

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57m

sext: Let me tour that fart factory.

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1w

So like, if my fortune cookie doesn't come with a fortune inside, am I like, even alive?

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26w

Do you know how many people die in Cookie Monster related deaths each year? Not enough.

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31w

A "69" is when you brush her hair while she brushes her cat, right?

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35w

If I were to go back in time, I probably wouldn't kill Hitler, but I would make sure as f…

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37w