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04 February 2012 Ugh!!! Just grew a moustache and turned into a falcon. I hate that. #fuckingJaeger
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25 January 2012 Typical Wed. Riding a bull. No big. #whereWillYouBeWhenYourDiarrheaComesBack
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24 January 2012 With @dirtnasty. Just ordered a plate of falcon dicks.
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29 January 2012 Look out!! Silver Bullet Bot on the attack!!! Mountains are blue. So are genitals. #needToGetLaid #callMeIfYouFindMyAbs
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22 March 2012 In Evansville, Indiana. Just ate at Downtown Salad World. Highly recommend. On Main St.
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01 February 2012 Found this picture of @DavidSpade going to the Emmy's.
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20 January 2012 Hey this is my official twitter page. I got it cause baby dick assholes were creating fake ones. I hope a were wolf eats their butt. Cheers.
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28 January 2012 Booze fun into mouth. With @bgflyhigh love to all. #fuckYouBinLadensGhost
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17 May 2012 Me and Sandler promoting 'That's My Boy' at UCSB. Hard R comedy. I have a mullet in the movie. Maybe a boner. #June15th
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24 January 2012 Dear Santa Claus, please put the lotion in the basket. #silenceOfTheLambsXmas
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30 January 2012 Finally found a ruler that can measure my dick.
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15 April 2012 Me and my homie Ryan Hardy and Mikey crushed a Carrot Top show. He fights on May 26th. #UFC #CarrotLife
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