Matthew Diffee

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  • 08 July 2011 WINNING CAPTION ANNOUNCEMENT: I hope everyone is having fun doing this deal. I’m having a blast. A bunch of really good captions this time and of course some terrible ones. Either way, it’s pretty funny. First, some honorable mentions: I thought Chrissy Hennessey’s Dr. Google joke was a quiet, well-crafted gem. Todd Patrick Livingston took a silly twist on "side effects." Out of the box thinking, even in the spelling department. Chad Yarbrough did a similar thing by bringing the TSA into it. Robert Stribley did well with the time machine prescription. My favorite of the vaguely sex change-themed jokes was Jon-Marc Seimon’s. Favorite veterinarian joke was by Steve Smargon. Now, I know what you’re all thinking at this point, “What about acute angina?” I have to say, it made me laugh and then a little googling revealed it’s “classic” lineage. But hey, I never said that was against the rules, so kudos to Jimmy Marks for seamlessly working it in here. As commendable as recycling is, I’d rather reward pure innovation. Although, is there anything new, really? Probably not. I wish I could mention more, but I’m already doing that “wall of text” thing that I do. So, without further ado, the winner of this week’s contest is Mark Athitakis with, “You know all that web searching you did on illnesses you didn’t actually have? Now you have carpal tunnel syndrome.” Thanks for playing, everybody. We'll do it again next week.
  • 10 February 2012 Until you sit down to draw a horny toad, you don’t realize that you don't know what a horny toad's left rear leg looks like. It looks like this.
  • 29 June 2011 Caption contest time again! I'm making it really difficult now. As you'll no doubt notice, this image is very close to last week's drawing. That's on purpose. I'm hoping this will illustrate how you can unlock a whole new set of creative options just by making small tweaks to the set up. This is how the cartoonists for The New Yorker have managed to come up with thousands of gags featuring castaways on tiny desert islands. They make little changes or additions and open up new possibilities. That's the cure for writer's block, or maybe any kind of block: back up and tweak. I'm teaching life lessons here, folks! I imagine we might lose a few people on this one. A lot of people think it's boring to rethink things. Those people are dumb. Come on, Smart People, we're counting on you! As always, post your captions below. You can also "like" the ones you like. I might take that into consideration when I choose the winner at noon on Friday. That winner will receive this original drawing in the mail. Ok, get cracking.
  • 13 October 2011 I doodled a dude while I was on the phone. He looks like he might be an aging poet or maybe a guy who teaches theater movement at the local community college. Old guy with a young guy's haircut. Kinda sad. He seems a little bitter and probably difficult to please. He needs a name. Any ideas?
  • 05 August 2011 My original caption for this week's "Old People in Bed" cartoon caption contest.
  • 26 September 2011 My latest cartoon in last week's New Yorker.
  • 02 July 2011 So, here's my original caption. It may look familiar because SOMEONE on here tried to pull a fast one. They found where I had posted this cartoon a while back on my tumblr blog and then tried to pass the caption off as their own. Very sneaky. I spotted it and hid it, but the damage may have already been done. I thought about trying to come up with a new caption, but instead, took a nap.
  • 15 October 2011 Do you have to have a good reason to doodle an angry old man in profile? I hope not cause I just did and I ain't got one.
  • 27 July 2011 DIFFEE CAPTION CONTEST TIME! It's "Spork Week" over at my facebook fanpage, so here's a spork-related cartoon for you to caption. As always, write your caption in the comments below. Vote for the ones you like. On Friday around noon, I'll pick a winner and they'll receive this original piece of museum quality spork art in the mail. It'll look great on the wall between your Picasso and your vintage Farrah Fawcett poster.
  • 10 February 2012 Working on a drawing of a horny toad for Texas Monthly...
  • 31 October 2012 I scared myself drawing this...
  • 09 April 2012 I just bought an antique scanner on ebay. Check this bad boy out.