ON WHOSAY SINCE: Sep 27, 2011

My mom told me it was "raining." But everybody knows it doesn't rain in Southern California--I think there's even a song about it. She thinks just because I'm blind, I'm also dumb. Not quite, lady. Am I supposed to believe that was also just a spontaneous massage and not shampoo? I call bullshit. #afterbathmax #handsomewhenwet #hesnodummy

5d

Do you think if I stay quiet and sit perfectly still nobody will notice me? #stowaway #dontmindme #nothingtoseehere

6d

Trying to talk to my new sea lion friends was a lot like trying to watch "The View." Everybody was talking over each other and most of it didn't make sense. #sealions #newfriends #theview #dontallbarkatonce

6d

"When in Rome." #canttakemeanywhere #40thousandwomencantbewrong #tigerwoods #golfing #getinthehole

1w

It's too bad @FionaGubelmann and I never have any fun together. #ladiesluncheon #laughingidiots #latergram

1w

On my left, is my oldest best friend who I've known since birth and on the right is the only person I know even longer. (Please note this is not to imply that either of them is old. Never!) #latergram #prettiestmama #bffs #ladiesluncheon

1w
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